Jews living in ancient Israel were more primitive back then. Yes, hummus and olive oil are delicious, but man does not live by Mediterranean food alone. Judaism has developed immensely since those ancient days. There are many advances to be proud of, but perhaps none greater than the discovery by certain Jews in Eastern Europe that a magical new food could be created pickling beef in brine. The history books give the Earl of Sandwich, a goy, too much credit. Just as the Internet would have been no big deal without the development of the World Wide Web, food between two slices of bread would have generated as much excitement as iceberg lettuce without the right ingredients. The good Earl’s culinary concoction would have languished in obscurity but for corned beef and pastrami as the main attraction. No one who is freed from five years of captivity asks for a tuna sandwich or a PB&J. If corned beef is not the apotheosis of monotheism, I defy you to find a better example.
Plus Mr. Gross wanted a latke. My kids and I fried up a bunch last night. I’d be happy to share.