One:      I spend a lot of time focused on a healthy diet. As a result, like a gorilla in the Rwandan bush idly munching a frond, I ingest substantial amounts of roughage on a daily basis.

Two:      I go to bed the same time as I did when I was eleven years old.  

Three:   I look sexy naked with only my socks on.

Four:     Because of my writing experience, I know the difference between “affect” and “effect”, and when to use “which” or “that”. Consider yourself warned: don’t get stuck in a corner with me at a party.

Five:      I am lazy and indolent. Hard work is for other people.

Six:         In a job years ago which involved some work in Hollywood, I met a few “B” list celebrities.

Seven:  I make spaghetti when it’s my turn to cook dinner. The sauce comes fresh from the jar.

Eight:     I have a repertoire of about a dozen anecdotes, which I rotate depending on the occasion. This means my company is best tolerated in small doses stretched over a considerable period of time.

Nine:     I was once accidentally locked in the Monastery of Temptation in Jericho (one of the anecdotes referred to above).

Ten:       I remain married to the first Mrs. Harris.



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